Social media is a daily piece of a kid’s life today. They use it for news, to connect with friends, and to escape from reality. It’s a form of instant gratification, with dopamine hits and serotonin levels skyrocketing. Kids are addicted to social media and their phones. Unfortunately, the negative effect of social media and comparing themselves to millions of other kids online is that it can hurt their confidence. As parents, we want to teach our kids how to build self-confidence so they can be successful in school and life. 

It’s important to get ahead of it before your child lacks confidence in themselves or even experiences feelings of anxiety or depression. In this episode, I talk about why confidence is important for students and how to build self-confidence.

Why is Confidence Important for Students?

Confidence influences kids’ academic, social, and emotional development and makes them more engaged, resilient, and self-reliant. There are several reasons why confidence is important for students.

• Improves academic performance: Believing in their abilities helps them stay motivated and resilient when facing academic challenges. They know they can work through it, which can lead to higher grades.
• Encourages positive social interactions: Confidence helps students build and maintain friendships, express themselves, and navigate social situations more easily.
• Builds resilience to failure: Confident students view setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than as failures, helping them learn from mistakes and overcome the fear of failure.
• Boosts leadership skills: Confidence encourages kids to voice their ideas, collaborate effectively, and inspire others—leadership skills that will benefit them in school and future careers.
• Enhances mental health: Lack of confidence can contribute to anxiety, stress, and low self-esteem. Students who believe in themselves are more likely to have a positive self-image, which supports mental health.
• Prepares them for future success: Building confidence in school and at home sets a foundation for lifelong learning and growth. Students confident in their abilities are more likely to pursue their goals as they transition into adulthood.

Understanding how to build self-confidence in students is essential for parents looking to enhance their kid’s personal lives and academic performance.

How to Build Self-Confidence in Your Kids

Think about the kinds of tools you want to provide your child as they get older to inspire that confidence in themselves. Remember, you are raising an adult, not a child! I’m not trying to put fear in you, but to caution you.

1. Be patient as they learn.

Allow your kids to figure things out themselves and be patient with them as they do. Reassure them that it’s okay to take their time; it gives them the confidence to keep improving at a pace that works for them. If you’re wondering how to build self-confidence in your kids, start by being patient with them as they learn.

2. Create sustained life-long memories.

I love doing things with my family. Not just because I love my boys, but because I know I’m creating life-long memories with them. They’ll remember learning how to cook with me or learning how to ride a bike on our street. I’ve introduced them to something new. Then when they try it again later on, they’ll have that memory to fall back on. They’ll know they can do it again because they’ve already done it before. Spend time doing things as a family and involve your kids so they can learn.

3. Help them avoid self-impostor syndrome.

Social media is a big factor here. Kids aren’t just comparing themselves to peers in the classroom with them; they’re exposed to millions of people who can influence their thoughts about themselves. Studies show that social media doesn’t motivate people, but it makes 13-66% of people feel depressed. The constant comparison and feeling like you aren’t good enough affects everyone’s mental health, especially kids. 

4. Let them fail.

I know your natural instinct is to protect your kids from failure. You know best, and you want to save them from that pain. But letting kids fail and figure it out themselves boosts their confidence down the road. They learn to figure it out and not rely on you for everything. 

Failure sticks in our brains. We think back on it and cringe or feel embarrassed. Those core memories come with the lessons learned along the way. We might think of a situation where we failed, but I can almost guarantee you didn’t make that mistake again. You learned a valuable lesson. 

The same idea goes with your kids. You need to allow them to try things on their own, even if they fail. If (or when) they do fail, you can gently teach them the correct way to do things. If you just take over right away, they’ll never learn the wrong way to do something and that core memory won’t be created.

This is crucial to do while they’re under your roof. You can supervise the failure and teach them the right way. If you do everything for them and they don’t have to learn for themselves, they’ll struggle later in life. They’ll be that kid in college who needs their mom to make sure they do their homework and study for tests. 

Allow them to fail and experience the consequences so they can learn from that experience. Learning how to build self-confidence can empower your kids to tackle challenges with a positive mindset.

5. Avoid the noise.

I tell my high school math tutoring students to reduce all social activities at least two weeks before their SAT. It allows them to focus on one thing at a time and not listen to how other kids are studying (or not studying). They’ll go into the test feeling confident that they did everything they could to prepare for the test. 

6. Confidence = life skills

When they have confidence in themselves, they are learning other life skills, like problem-solving, overcoming challenges, and overcoming failure. They understand what it takes to succeed and believe that they can do it on their own. 

I understand that you want what’s best for your kids and to save them from mistakes, but you need to let them do it themselves. I promise it will be better in the long run for them to experience the consequences of their actions now versus later in life. This is how to build self-confidence in your kids.

Related Episodes

Episode 26 : The Benefits of Unplugging From Social Media for ADHD Parents

Episode 32: Holistic Tips to Stay Focused at School and Home