Why Your ADHD Child Is So Argumentative and How to Help

Have you ever wondered why your ADHD child is so argumentative? Or why do they seem to lose their temper quicker than others? While this is common for children with ADHD, it can still be difficult to cope as a parent. 

So I wanted to share with you some of the reasons why this is happening, ways you can help, and how to cope as a parent of a child with ADHD.

Why Your Child With ADHD Is Argumentative

Children with ADHD are often argumentative because of their impulsivity. Impulsivity is something a lot of ADHD children struggle with, and without understanding it—and how to control it—it can be very dangerous.

Another reason is emotions and being sensitive to emotions—specifically, sensitive to anger. When your child is taken off guard, it can be really hard for them to cope and control their emotions to NOT react in annoyance or anger.

According to a study done by the NIH, a greater proportion of ADHD (46.92%) displayed high levels of emotional liability, especially related to aggression and depression. Often, the more severe the ADHD, the harder it is for a child to emotionally regulate.

5 Tips for Parents to Help an Argumentative Child with ADHD 

Being socially and emotionally aware of your child who has ADHD is a huge game change for parents and children when they know there’s a way to communicate, express themselves, and simply be able to say “I’m mad” or “I’m not feeling good about this” and “How do I express this?”

So, here are some tips for parents to help an argumentative child with ADHD:

#1. Use a Calm Voice

When you talk to your child with ADHD, use a calm voice. Try to stay calm and calm your voice down—if it seems hard, give yourself a chance to walk away, gather your thoughts, and then go back to the room and talk to them.

#2. Set Clear and Concise Parameters

Set parameters around things such as when they raise their voice and calm down. Allow your child to know that there is a consequence to being explosive. This gives them the executive functioning tool to say, “Hey, I need to not explore because there’s a consequence.”

After setting parameters, go back, review, and revisit them to avoid discipline with anger because that’s just going to make them spiral.

#3. Focus on Correcting the Behavior

Focus on correcting the behavior, not anything else. When you talk about one area, they see that—but when you address everything, they think that everything they do is wrong. Think of those areas you’re focusing on to correct versus overcorrecting everything.

#4. Create a Morning and Nighttime Routine

When your child has ADHD,  their brain chemistry makes it difficult for them to calm down once upset, and that’s why I really recommend creating and consistently sticking to morning and nighttime routines. It allows you and your child to avoid decision fatigue and the craziness.

#5. Keep a Tidy Home

This is more of a preventative measure for your child and potentially explosive emotions. A tidy home helps them keep a tidy mind—and a tidy mind is a calm mind.  It’s a little thing that can really help!

Don’t know how to get started? Download my free guide, Minimalism for ADHD, and learn how to minimize the clutter in your life physically and digitally here.

Finding What Works for Your ADHD Child

There are many, many other strategies out there—these are simply the strategies that I’ve found work the best for my students. Keep encouraging your child and telling them they’re doing a great job, and seek professional help if you need it.

You don’t want to be seen as the enemy or as a person they wanna avoid, but as someone they continue to look up to.