How to Discipline a Child With ADHD

There’s one struggle that many parents with ADHD children share—and that they often ask about—and it’s “I don’t know how to get my child to sit down and do their work.” 

As a parent and as someone with ADHD who has also struggled with the same thing, it all comes down to practice and discipline. Also, I get it, and here are a couple of cool tips and tricks that you can use to discipline your child with ADHD, help them achieve success, and make their ADHD a superpower!

What Does it Look Like to Discipline a Child With ADHD?

There’s one thing you have to understand with ADHD, and it’s that we (myself and your child) lack executive functioning skills. When your child is told to do a task, they’ll often go around it in circles until they do it rather than simply “getting it done.”

Your child needs to practice executive functioning to mitigate their ADHD and make it easier to get tasks, like studying, done. This takes time and discipline, even if that discipline looks different than what you expect, so be patient, consistent, and step in for support.

7 Ways to Discipline Your Child With ADHD 

When I’m working with clients one-on-one for ADHD, or if I’m working with my math ADHD students, there are a few ways I recommend to parents to help with discipline. You can use these methods to help your own child, too:

#1.  Positive Reinforcement

One thing that will help your child with ADHD is positive reinforcement. Encourage them—this can be as simple as telling them that they’ve got this, that they can do it. 

#2. Set Clear Expectations

Give your child clear expectations as to what the task is and what needs to be done so that they’re clear on what they need to do. By doing this, you’re also setting up an opportunity to use positive reinforcement when they meet that expectation.

#3. Explain Logical Consequences

Share the logical consequences of their actions or not meeting an expectation. Also, when having a structure like this, you want to have a follow-through. 

Having a follow-through allows both you and them to see the benefit of getting that task done.

#4. Stay Calm

This is something you have to try and always remember when disciplining your child: stay calm. You want to stay calm doing this because you don’t want it to come out in your voice. When your child hears anger or disappointment in your voice, it can lead them to start spiraling into negativity and distraction.

#5. Make it Easy

Don’t overcomplicate the process! When I set expectations, I like to summarize them as deadlines to hold them responsible. Deadlines make it easy to show consequences AND set your child up for rewards—and rewards work extremely well for motivating children with ADHD.

#6. Timeouts

If you need to use timeouts for discipline, do so, but use it as a redirection. Do not use physical punishment with your child—they need to feel empowered, and that can lead to the opposite, causing your child to struggle even more with learning and focusing.

#7. Work With a Pro

It can be very helpful for you to have an expert in the room to help you develop a sense of mentorship for your child. However, working with a professional can relieve some of the pressure on you, allowing you to stay calm and appropriately respond.

What to Avoid When Disciplining Your ADHD Child

Not every form of discipline works well for a child with ADHD, and sometimes, as a parent, you have to find out what works best for YOUR child. Still, there are a few things you should avoid when disciplining:

• Shaming and belittling 
• Physical punishment
• Inconsistent discipline

Shame and belittlement make a child dwell on a lot of negative things psychologically, while physical punishment is not going to help move the needle. Plus, being inconsistent just tells a child that they can get away with stuff.

If you want to help your child focus and feel like their ADHD is their superpower, they need positive reinforcement, clear expectations, logical consequences, a calm approach, or even a win/lose system—not shame, physical punishment, or inconsistency.

A Note to Parents

Having a child with ADHD can lead to unexpected moments where you can feel at a loss to best help them—but you’re not alone, and you’re doing an amazing job.

You’re here, you’re reading about how to best help your child, and that’s what makes you their superhero. Now, they (and even you) just need to discover how to turn their ADHD into their superpower!

If you want an expert in your corner to help you take the next steps, apply to work with me here. My ADHD coaching and math tutoring is all about empowerment—and my calling is to help parents and kids like you and yours.