How to Set Boundaries with ADHD

I’ve personally struggled with this topic, but I’m so excited to share what I’ve learned. Setting and enforcing boundaries is difficult for anyone; it’s a skill set that takes time, but once you master it, it opens so many doors for you. 

Boundaries are especially important for those with ADHD. ADHD causes your brain to go into overdrive, so it’s easy to overthink and get anxious in certain situations. Boundaries can help people with ADHD remain calm and stable in uncomfortable situations. Let’s dive into how to set boundaries with ADHD.

What You’ll Hear in This Episode

  • 4 tips to set boundaries with ADHD

How to Set Boundaries with ADHD

It’s awkward to outright say you’re setting a boundary with someone. You don’t want to cause someone to feel uncomfortable, but you still need to enforce a boundary with them. So, here are a few tips on how to set boundaries with ADHD.

1. Set a schedule.

By setting a schedule and sharing it with people in your life, it lets them know you’re on top of it. You’re a leader and have control over your day and your life. Everyone is busy. Setting a boundary with your schedule tells people that you don’t have time for them to be wishy-washy about their schedule.

I had an example with a friend recently. We met for coffee and wanted to meet up again soon. I told her, “Great, I’d love to meet up with you again. I’m free next Saturday from 7 am to 12 pm. If you can, please let me know by Friday at 12 pm what time works for you. I’ll hold the time for you until then. Does that work for you?” I’m telling my friend my schedule and that I will not be waiting for her to get back to me. I’m letting her know that if she doesn’t get back to me soon, my schedule might be booked up. Time is the most important thing you have so don’t let someone else waste yours.

2. Question the person who’s out of their lane.

I’m talking about if someone is speaking to you and it’s out of line and rude. They’re making you uncomfortable, criticizing you, and disrespecting you. Speak up for yourself! Call them out and tell them that it’s not acceptable for them to talk to you like that. You will not tolerate it. 

By setting this boundary, you aren’t letting people walk all over you. You’re facing a conflict and looking for a resolution rather than walking away and ruminating over it for the rest of the day. You’re calling it out and looking for clarity on what that person meant by what they said. Maybe they didn’t realize they were offending you. At that point, you can reach an easy resolution. 

Remember, people with ADHD are sensitive. We can take things the wrong way and overthink it very quickly. It’s best to get to the root of the problem and work through it as it comes.

3. Develop how you present yourself.

As someone with ADHD and constantly trying to keep up with everyone, I know I have control over my image. How I dress, how I walk, how I talk to people, etc. People notice and respect how I present myself to them. How you present yourself is a reflection of how you want people to treat you. People with ADHD are constantly judged and criticized for what they do. When you dress like you take yourself seriously, other people will, too. 

4. Be organized and have a clutter-free life.

I talk about the importance of decluttering all the time. Being organized is also a reflection of how people see you. If you have ADHD and your house is a mess, people are going to think you’re a mess. 

In terms of setting boundaries, if you aren’t respecting your environment and keeping it tidy, you won’t benefit from using it. You’ll be too distracted by the mess. So this is more of a boundary with yourself, but keep your space clean so you can focus easier. Download my free decluttering guide to help you set a boundary with yourself to keep your home clean and tidy!

Boundaries are important for people to have in their lives. Your boundaries might look different from mine, but whatever boundaries you decide to set with people, make it clear that you can’t be messed with. Because people with ADHD are sensitive, they’re often taken advantage of. But not you because you have solid boundaries! I hope this episode taught you how to set boundaries with ADHD. 

DM me on Instagram if you have any stories to share about boundaries you set in your life and how it worked out for you!

If you liked this episode, check out…

Episode 4: How I Manage My ADHD Without Medication

Episode 19: Declutter Your Mind: Decluttering Tips for ADHD Management in Adults

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To inquire about being a guest on the podcast, submit a topic, or ask a question for a future episode, please email Laila.

Laila is a Holistic Nutrition Coach and Math Tutor. She is goal driven and mission oriented and is here to support, encourage, and push you towards the results you want, ready to help people of all ages become mission-fit to explore their full potential. As someone with ADHD and dyslexia, she deeply understands the intricate challenges related to creating a new habit and sticking with it. Her online nutrition programs and online math tutoring cater to those with similar difficulties.

To learn more about Laila, or to inquire about working with her, visit www.LailaAlieh.com.

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